I always say that I had 2 childhoods. From age 0-8, and then 8 years old to grown. That first childhood was full of chaos and turmoil. One night in particular, when I was 6 years old- in a moment of complete desperation- my mom left very suddenly and unexpectedly. My older sister ran next door to get my father, leaving me with my baby sister asleep in her crib and myself-in a state of total confusion and fear. In that moment, my whole world -along with the free-spirited, carefree version of myself- crumbled, and I lived in survival mode for the next 2 years. Finally, my mom gained custody of us, and that is when my second, more “normal” childhood began. So I tucked away the trauma of those early years, never to worry about it again….or so I thought.

Fast forward a decade or two, I fell in love and married my high school sweetheart, we had 2 boys, and I got my college degree. Life seemed to be drifting along, until my world shifted off its axis yet again. When I was 29, my grandmother, my safe place, my confidant, passed away. Two years later, my dad, my security, the man my mom raised me with (in the 2nd childhood) died. Three years after that, I lost a baby, my third child. Rather than process and grieve all of that, I decided to get a puppy (makes sense, right?!), sweet Isobel. And she was perfect. I doted on that puppy as if she was the baby that I had lost. Until 11 months later when she came down with a virus, and despite mine & the vet’s best efforts, she died that same day. I had slept in the living room with her, and when I checked on her in the middle of the night, she was gone.

Something inside of me cracked wide open in that instant, and all of the childhood trauma that I had buried along with the recent losses I had experienced as a young adult erupted. Life no longer made sense. I was a shadow of who I once was, and I knew I had to do something to save myself.

That was over 10 years ago, and I have dedicated the last decade to finding the path to being, and feeling, well- inside and out. Now, I have tools and resources that nourish my nervous system & allow me to enjoy my life. The journey has included yoga teacher training(s), Ayurveda certifications, acupuncture, herbalism, holistic health coaching, EMDR, and somatic therapy among other things, But my biggest takeaway has been that healing is really about coming home to myself.